Mydreamjob作文900字

91分
2025-02-19 23:29:11

I want to be a professional dancer when I was young. however I cant be a professional dancer unless I am good at dancing. Perhaps I can be a reporter. i like writing things. i love to share things with people.

So my dream job is to be a reporter. I have a passion for writing anything. The idea of getting my thoughts down on paper and creating anything from a poem to a book fascinates me.Not only I want to write, but I want people to be able to relate to my pieces. I would spend endless hours to write if I could, and I would encourage anyone to write what they feel as well. Anything from a mystery to a comedy I would be more than happy to try and write about.

My favorite writing pieces are when you can feel the characters emotions from enthusiasm to gut-wrenching fear as if you were right there beside them making the same decisions they would.

How about you?what is your dream job?

六年级:28813

写作思路解析

段落排布经过斟酌,层层推进内容,利用富有情趣的拟人修辞赋予事物灵气完成收尾升华,篇章浑然自成一体,段落衔接无痕,整体观感和谐统一。叙事循序渐进,内容稳步向前推进,不会出现逻辑跳跃。文章首尾呼应,中心统一,作者具备不错的篇章把控能力,值得研读。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

AI作文批改

作文打分:91分(满分100)

改进建议

段落之间尝试使用情景过渡,不要总是依靠“然后、接着”这类连接词。挖掘素材深层内涵,不要仅仅停留在表面叙事。

存在不足

!段落之间缺少前后照应,文章整体性偏弱。人物心理描写稀缺,难以展现内心情绪变化,形象不够立体。

作文优点

文章段落层次划分清晰,叙事逻辑连贯有序,能够有条不紊推进情节发展。善于观察生活细节,选取贴近现实的素材,内容真实自然,情感表达不刻意,通读下来流畅舒服,基础写作框架十分稳固。

综合点评

文字表达通顺流畅,叙事完整规范,写作基础扎实。擅长环境描写烘托氛围,但人物心理刻画偏少,人物形象不够鲜活立体。

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