StillFiguringItOut作文1500字

84分
2025-03-25 16:40:50

Since I just graduated from junior high this summer, I'm trying to find a platform to A,help kids go through their junior years with ease and B,express some of my feelings. I have great English skills and I hope people can listen to my thoughts. It's me against the world, but if you guys do listen, it's us against the world and we will all try to figure it out together.

MY FIRST SHOT: to those who just finished their big exams

I finished my big exam in June and I should be enjoying my 3 months holiday, however, it turned out that I didn't get a good grade. So instead I locked myself up in my bedroom and try to figure this all out.A. I didn't get enough score to get in my dream school.B. I blame myself for letting my parents down.C. God why didn't I try harder.And it's A all over again.

If any of you find yourself in this situation, please stop worrying, trust me. Talk to your parents, I felt much better after doing so. If they truly love you, they'll understand. My parents told me that C was completely wrong and B was stupid, they will never be disappointed in me if I really put my heart into something. A however, is the reality, and guys, if you are in this shadow of blaming yourself, remember this sentence: Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.

I know you're confused, teens do try to figure themselves out but teens turns out to be complicated. I don't want to talk big because I bet you've all heard much, so if there's only one thing you should learn from this, I want you guys to stop cursing the darkness and just light a candle.

高一:诺亚小舟

写作思路解析

虚实描写相互结合,借助层次丰富的心理描写展现内心起伏拓宽文字想象空间,叙事结束之后留有思考空间,读完能够引发读者持续思索。既有实景刻画,又有内心思绪拓展,层次丰富。画面感与思想性兼备,写作手法值得学习。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

AI作文批改

作文打分:84分(满分100)

作文优点

文字温润柔和,情感表达克制得体,不会过度煽情。叙事客观完整,能够完整还原事件经过,表达稳重,适合记叙类文体写作。

改进建议

积累比喻、拟人等基础修辞,灵活运用在场景描写当中,增强文字画面感。写作前简单列提纲,规划好主次内容,避免详略失衡。

存在不足

!习惯使用短句平铺陈述,长短句搭配不足,行文缺少韵律感。重点情节没有放慢节奏细致刻画,一笔带过十分可惜。

综合点评

开篇点题自然,叙事推进有序,结尾能够总结全文。语言表达略显口语化,经过书面语润色之后,文章质感会明显提升。

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