In the bottom of my heart
Childhood memories like the shining pearl in the sea, buried deep in the sea, as a memory in the bottom of my heart.
Childhood is like a colorful kaleidoscope, let us taste the sweet and sweet childhood sour, sweet, bitter, hot; like spring, the taste is immortalised in taste bud.
When I was young, I was curious to follow the trend of "drifting bottle" game on campus. So, I also bought a small and exquisite "bottle", it is about five cm high, brown bottle cork with streamlined, with pink flowers in the bottle, there is a note. I suddenly fall into a reverie, I have seen the future. I can't help but take a pen, slowly on the note:
My gift to the future:
Wish you happy every day. May your studies go well. Grow up with me.
When you were young
April 29, 2012
Time is like a fleeting, childhood childish handwriting, solemn promise has been slowly forgotten. Over the past 2 years, who can recall the dusty bottles? It's been a long, I don't know where to hide. 11 years old, I wrote a "childhood memories" writing, the memory of the door and open. In the years of flying catkins, I found that a childhood belongs to the drift bottles of feathers! "Ah --" I was pleasantly surprised to hold the dust of it, almost trembling opened the previous content. The writing has been vague, but the time has not changed, the memory has not changed, is still the words of your academic success is still a child of my future I give my blessing. That a pure heart......
Imperceptibly I am 13 years old, occasionally referred to as the "bottle" game also reminds me of my thoughts, and I opened the bottle into the contents of memory lock. It is also my memories in the bottom of my heart.
Open your heart in memory at the same time, I in the sea to find the shining pearl. Drifting bottles, is not I stay in the bottom of my memories? Is it not important to me?
六年级:jinyan
写作思路解析
立意积极向上，结合立体饱满的场景描写搭建叙事舞台展开描写，细节描摹生动逼真，微小之处用心打磨，提升文章质感，持续传递正向思考。文章基调明朗温暖，在叙事过程中传递积极态度。素材选用合适，结构完整，读完能够收获正向启发。
本文范文仅作写作思路参考，请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。
作文优点
★文章节奏舒缓有度，不急不躁，循序渐进展开叙述。擅长环境烘托，借助景物衬托人物心情，写作手法丰富，懂得运用多种描写方式丰富内容。
改进建议
↓重点场景放慢节奏细致刻画，次要内容简要带过，强化主次区分。练习辩证思考，多角度看待事件，拓展立意深度。
存在不足
!结尾总结流于表面，没有结合前文事例深入延伸思考。场景描写笼统模糊，只能知晓事件，无法在脑海形成画面。
综合点评
◆习作体量充足，素材支撑有力，阅读流畅。详略规划不够合理，重点情节一笔带过，次要内容过度展开，主次区分不明显。