I love my school, Because i have a lot of friend?in my school.They always help me when i don't now how to?do some thing.And i have a nice teacher too,He help me and teach me all the times,And he was very funney all the times he always teach us with his?smile.But some times i saw he sat front of his computer working so hard in his work.I was?talk to my self ,my teacher work so hard why i can't work that heard.start that day i thy to work so hard just like my teacher. And i always help my friends and d
ifferent peoples,?I fell so happy when i help other peoples. So what i want to tall is when you saw some peoples that was haveing some problem with they works thy to help then if you can.五年级:肖凯伦
写作思路解析
叙事节奏张弛有度，凭借以小见大的构思方式挖掘平凡内涵流露真情实感，文风平和从容淡定，以温和视角观察事物，阅读体验舒适。文章叙述不急不躁，段落衔接顺滑，核心观点稳固鲜明。作者依托亲身经历进行创作，表达真诚不浮夸，通篇读起来通顺自然，适合借鉴。
本文范文仅作写作思路参考，请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。
作文打分：90分（满分100）
存在不足
!存在少量冗余语句，删减之后不会影响文意，反而让行文更加干练。段落内部逻辑层次可以梳理，部分句子排布顺序可以调整优化。
综合点评
◆整篇文章主线稳固，不会出现跑题、偏题现象。叙事条理清楚，事件起因经过结果交代完整。描写形式较为单一，大量使用叙述语句，缺少环境、神态等多元化描写手段。
作文优点
★文字表达简洁有力，剔除多余废话，表意清晰精准。叙事完整，起因经过结果交代清楚，文章逻辑通顺。
改进建议
↓学会分析素材，把事例和中心观点紧密结合，不要单纯罗列事件。大胆表达个人想法，增强文字感染力。