题目为父母榜样的力量的作文

85分
2025-11-14 14:38:18

题目为父母榜样的力量的作文

Directions:

Write an essay of 160—200 words based on the following picture in your essay, you should

1. describe the pictures briefly,

2. interpret its intended meaning, and

3. give your comments.

You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

参考范文:

As is vividly depicted in the first picture there is a father watching TV and asking his son to study hard, with his son being unable to concentrate on his study. The second picture portrays that the son and the father are studying hard together. At the lower part of the picture is a caption which implies that it is wise for parents to set a good example for their children by action rather than by words.

It occurs to me that the author of the drawing aims at reminding us of the the value of a good example by parents. First and foremost, examples speak louder than words, for it is widely accepted that an example enables each person to transform his or her aspirations from a state of potentiality into reality. Put it another way, parents’ example enables their children to improve them selves, so they can be qualified for the future job, be ready for the forthcoming life, and they are likely to achieve more fulfillment. Furthermore, according to a latest survey conducted by an authority on the Internet, the majority of people interviewed answer that parents’ action produces more positive influence on the growth of their children than oral requirements do.

Hence, it is vital for us to derive positive implications from the above pictures. For one thing, we should frequently use it to enlighten young parents. For another, we should cultivate the awareness of parents that personal examples are very vital to kid’s growth. Only by doing so can children grow sound in body and mind.

【题目为父母榜样的力量的作文】

写作思路解析

立意温和正向,不刻意拔高主题,借助层层深入的层层渲染强化情感浓度自然传递思考,意境悠远耐人品读,文字构建出独特氛围,氛围感浓厚。观点贴合普通人生活体验,真实不悬浮。道理娓娓道来,没有生硬说教感。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

AI作文批改

作文打分:85分(满分100)

作文优点

段落过渡较为自然,很少出现生硬跳转。情感依托真实经历抒发,避免空洞说教,更容易引发同龄读者共鸣。

存在不足

!叙事推进节奏一成不变,高潮部分没有重点渲染,全篇观感平淡。事例与中心观点关联论证偏少,素材支撑力度偏弱。

改进建议

描写场景拒绝笼统概括,尽量还原具体动作、环境细节。写作过程把控节奏,避免部分段落过度拖沓。

综合点评

语言平实易懂,叙事完整清晰,写作基本功扎实,极少出现语病。文章框架稳定,层次分明,阅读门槛较低。内容深度有限,大多停留在表层叙事,缺少深层次思考与感悟升华。

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