我的姐姐的英语作文

89分
2025-11-07 19:25:37

关于我的姐姐的英语作文

My sister was capable, and she always help, care and protect me. But I am jealous of my sister, her jealousy is even worse than I do. So I sometimes intentionally disruptive, put my sister worked so hard to wash clothes to make clean, throw the rubbish and good... The relationship between both of us siblings and, therefore, is not very good, although she is very inclusive me and tolerate me, but can't stand my naughty naughty every time. And I also envy because she never called her a "sister".

That day, I was naughty, there results angered her. She asked me to get angry anymore, but I have heard and then cried and ran out, ran for a long time for a long time, I don't know where to run to, just feel tired, fell asleep on the lawn. I'm in a daze ambiguously hear elder sister call I, when I looked up at day, only to find that it was already very late already, can not help but a little worry and fear......In the midst of the confusion, my sister came to me and looked breathless. My heart calmed down when my sister was sweating.

"How did you get here..." I haven't finished yet, my sister scolded, "how do you run around, do you know we are all worried about you, you are so big, why don't you know?" My goat, explosive and immediately WeiQuGan, looked up at the counter, only to find that the elder sister, a full face of tears listening to her sister's curses, sister to see the tears shed, suddenly found the sister hand injury... The wound was so obvious, as if laughing at my ignorance, my willfulness, "what's the matter with you..." "Nothing, just accidentally fell, go, we go home!" I was in a trance when I saw my sister's frantic rush to find me. I understood...

I took the sister's hand, only to find that her same age girl's hand, other people's hand is so close, but her sister's hand is so rough, perhaps this is she capable price... I was thinking about to apologize to her sister, but heard my sister said "I'm sorry, today is my bad, should not temper to you, and you don't run around next time, we are very worried about you, know..." Listening to my sister's ramble, tears burst from tears and said softly, "I'm sorry, sister!" "At last you will call me 'sister'

Perhaps my sister felt my unhappiness, and then joked, "let's go home soon! Otherwise I'll starve to the streets... we're better than the fastest, start, run!" "Sister, you raiskin, wait for me!"

Looking up at the starry sky, I never found it to be so colorful!

Since then, my relationship with my sister has become better, and I will automatically take care of the housework and help my sister.

Sister, and the moment of holding hands, you let me know your care and love for me. I will take your hand, I will walk to the future......

【关于我的姐姐的英语作文】

写作思路解析

不追求华丽辞藻堆砌,依靠有条不紊的场景铺叙完善故事框架打磨细节,笔墨分配均衡合理,轻重把控得当,不会头重脚轻,朴素文字自有打动人心的力量。摒弃浮夸修辞,依靠细节和真情打动读者。文风沉稳简约,叙事条理清晰,是简约写作范本。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

AI作文批改

作文打分:89分(满分100)

作文优点

★行文节奏稳定舒缓,叙述条理清晰,不急躁仓促。善于观察身边事物,积累生活化素材,文章充满烟火气息。

改进建议

↓结尾升华做好层层铺垫,循序渐进抒发感悟。多观察生活细节,把微小瞬间转化为生动写作素材。

存在不足

!概括性语句过多,具象场景描写不足,大多只是简单交代事件,缺少生动场景还原。情感表达较为含蓄,层次不够丰富,情绪变化展现不够清晰。

综合点评

◆文章中心主线清晰,全程紧扣写作主题,不存在严重偏题。叙事节奏平稳,语句通顺无明显语病。整体构思较为保守,缺少新颖视角,难以让人眼前一亮。

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