生命中有价值的事高考英语作文

80分
2025-09-26 08:44:59

生命中有价值的事高考英语作文

what is the most valuable thing in one’s life? i think there would be different answer for different person. there is no doubt that money is a necessary approach to make your dream come to true. what we want to do with the money is of cause to purchase the most valuable thing in our lives, in other words, the dreams.

a house could offer you a place to live to make you feel warm and safe and a business maybe return you more money, but for me, a common person with no wild ambition but only like to live a common life and do some research that i am interested in, a house is more valuable than a business.if i have a house even it’s small i will feel safe and i can do anything that i want to and needn’t to struggle difficultly to earn my living because the house could give me a free space that belongs to myself. but a business is no use for me because i don’t need much more money and don’t know how to do with it. in my own house, i could read books, listen to music, write something and have a break in my bed if i feel tired. i can do cooking with my friends and watch tv together. it would be a happy time in a warm house. but what does a business mean? i think it would be communicating with strangers, going here and there and hardly stop, bargaining with that kind of artificial and sophisticated business men and so on. maybe these are not the whole results of purchasing a business but in no way i could say i like that.

so i would like to buy a house if i have enough money but never mention to a business because the former is my dream but the later is no meaning for me.

【生命中有价值的事高考英语作文】

写作思路解析

懂得取舍写作素材,巧用主旨鲜明的卒章显志点明写作意图突出重点,思考角度别致新颖,看待事物拥有不一样的切入点,避免内容繁杂无序。文章详略安排得当,无关素材适当删减,紧紧围绕中心进行写作。框架清晰,叙事有序,展现出优秀的素材取舍能力。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

AI作文批改

作文打分:80分(满分100)

作文优点

★结尾收束有力,能够总结全文并且适度升华主旨,不会仓促收尾。叙事条理清晰,前后内容相互照应,逻辑严谨,整体完整性优秀。

综合点评

◆行文节奏松紧有度,详略安排基本合理,开头引入自然,结尾收束稳妥。素材选取恰当,能够有效支撑文章主旨。语言打磨尚有提升空间,部分句子略显口语化,书面表达质感有待加强。

存在不足

!不少段落开头缺少过渡引导,上下文跳转生硬。构思角度较为传统,缺少新颖独特的切入点。

改进建议

↓调整开篇结构,精简前期铺垫,加快进入主题的速度。对于重要想法充分展开阐述,不要浅尝辄止。练习多角度挖掘素材,寻找新颖写作切入点,跳出常规范文模板,打造独属于自己的文字风格。

相关作文

上一篇:书是我的生命之泉小学作文
下一篇:生命是美作文