I read the advertisement on the newspaper.I want to be a interm in the graphic design department.
my name is LiHua,I’m m a student in senior two.I used to dothe part-time job in Ad company last summer holiday.I have express it ,so I know what I should do in a company.Besides, I like taking photos and master it .in school ,I can get along with my classmates and often help each other.In many competitions,we often win,because we think teamwork is of great importance.So,it is no doubt that I will get along with colleagues.
I’ll appreciate it if you send me more information about you company.
写作思路解析
文字自带氛围感,借助层次丰富的心理描写展现内心起伏搭建专属意境,文字内敛充满力量,平静叙述之下蕴藏深厚情感。环境描写服务整体基调,氛围感贯穿全文。情景相融,阅读时仿佛置身文中场景。
本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。
AI作文批改
作文打分:72分(满分100)
综合点评
整篇习作条理分明,层次安排合理,首尾呼应到位。情感依托真实事件抒发,避免空洞抒情。部分段落详略失衡,次要内容占用篇幅较多,削弱核心情节表现力。
存在不足
文章感悟较为浅显,仅仅停留在事件表面,缺少深度挖掘。描写手段单一,很少运用环境、神态描写丰富内容。
改进建议
描写场景拒绝笼统概括,尽量还原具体动作、环境细节。写作过程把控节奏,避免部分段落过度拖沓。
作文优点
拥有不错的场景描写能力,善于勾勒环境氛围,搭建画面感,文字具备一定感染力。中心主线清晰,不会出现偏离主题、跑题的情况,写作方向把控到位。